Eat mor hate

Though I generally try to avoid being serious at all costs, humor me for a moment here. No, not that sort of humor. There will be none of that today. And besides, that joke is so old. Today is all serious. Sort of. Maybe not entirely. But I digress. In order to progress. So, there's this little company called Chik-fil-A that makes the greatest chicken sandwiches in the known universe (and, more than likely, in all the unknown universes as well). There's a situation, I won't waste my time explaining, I'll just assume you know (you know what they say happens when you assume, but I can safely assume that won't happen here). (I love parentheses). Anyways, the 2 most common words I've heard/read to define CEO Dan Cathy are "hate-monger" and "homophobe." This is the issue I wish to address. Stay with me here for a minute - let's assume I'm taking a written test in school. I'm expected to correctly answer the questions asked, right? So how do i know what the answers are? Easy - I know what is correct based on an objective reality (i.e. textbook,lecture notes). If the textbook says it, it's correct. Now, if I take a test and answer questions incorrectly, do I accuse the teacher of being a hate-monger? How dare he/she (we must be politically correct and gender neutral, you know) tell me I'm wrong for answering with what I thought was correct?!? Am I not entitled to believe what I will? This teacher hates everyone who believes that electrons have a positive charge!!! Now, I think we would all agree that accusation would be absurd. Electrons do not have a positive charge, and anyone who believes they do is flat-out wrong. The teacher probably has nothing against them personally, they're just not right. Now, let's transfer this thought into the current Chik-fil-A situation, as well as all the times Christians are referred to as judgmental, which is quite often. Though the current issue is homosexuality, it can be applied to anything the Bible takes a stance on. If Dan Cathy (or anyone who claims to be a follower of Christ) states that homosexuality is wrong, where is he getting that idea? Is it because he's straight and gay people creep him out? Is it because he's already got his marriage rights locked down, and he's so elitist he wants to deny that right to anyone fighting for it? No, it clearly must be because he's terrified gay people will take over the world with their flamboyant pants and their techno glitter parties (take a joke, people). Sadly, these ideas do not seem absurd to many people, as I intended them to be. This is actually what people think is going through Dan Cathy's head. However, his beliefs are actually based on one thing he believes to be objective reality - the Bible. Now, I am not here to convince you that the Bible is an objective reality (though I believe it is), or to explain to you why I agree with Mr. Cathy (I do), but to explain one simple fact - calling a person a homophobe and a hate-monger and judgmental for their belief in an objective reality is, quite frankly, hateful and judgmental. Mr. Cathy, in essence, stated that electrons have a negative charge. The textbook says so. Why is it any less absurd to claim hate from him than it is to claim hate from the teacher with the red pen?

A Jabberwock? Really?

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!"
- or something to that effect.
I half-listened to the cautions
he would always interject.


The old man, I'm sure, is senile -
a bit paranoid, you see.
Always shouting of the horrors
that would somehow befall me.


Today, it's the Jabberwock that has
some evil plan to hatch.
Last week it was a JooJoo bird,
or some frumious Sanderbatch.


The old man's claims didn't scare me;
a man in the prime of my youth.
That these creatures even existed
there wasn't a shred of proof.


Besides, he didn't understand
the power of the vorpal sword -
with the hilt of it in my hand,
foes were nothing but a bore.


So off I went in search of food,
walking easily as could be.
I set the snares then sat to think
beneath the Tumtum tree.


Suddenly a horrendous burbling
came crashing through the woods.
I'd never heard anything like it,
but I knew it couldn't be good.


Eyes of fire! Claws of steel!
House-sized leather wings!
My heart pounded as I pondered
the challenge he would bring.


I feinted right, he called my bluff
and caught me on the shoulder.
The pain, far from holding me back,
served only to make me bolder.


No greater foe have I ever fought,
each time I slashed he came right back -
until, with a final effort,
my blade went snicker-snack!


The beast was dead, I had his head
held proudly in my hand - 
never again will I fail to heed
the warnings of that wise old man.

Back from my sabbatical

I've had way too much free time to write the past 8 months or so. I'm not sure why it works like that. I suppose it's because when I'm really busy I usually have a lot on my mind, and writing (typing) gets some of it out. When I have this much free time, I generally have nothing on my mind except food, and when I do have something on my mind, I go into the "I'll write about it after this Walker, Texas Ranger marathon is over" zone. Needless to say,... well, I'm not gonna say it. It was needless. You know. I really have nothing of substance to go into this post, except expect (say that five times fast) more posts, as I will soon have much less free time. Very soon I will be going back to class (apparently it wasn't done with me), working (hopefully - applications have been sent out), finding a home church (an exciting and overwhelming proposition), and many other currently unknown things (if those applications pay off, I'll probably be sailing on my yacht bought with part-time, minimum wage pay). The only thing you really need to know right now is I'm pretty amped. I really am. For the first time ever, I have a clear and definite direction in life, even if it does involve, you know, 37 more years of school. Also, I just sort of realized I've lived at home for what appears to be the last time ever. Sure, I'll be close, and chances are good that I'll spend some nights there, but 6000 Shelley Drive can no longer be listed as my permanent home address. It's sad, and it's happy, and it's encouraging, and it's terrifying, and it's surreal, and it's been a long time coming, and it's come way too fast, but above all, it's peace-bringing. And it's time. This is my next step. My whole life, I've been walking down (or up, don't look too much into the direction) a dark staircase, with no clue where the next step is, or if there's even one there. I've just been stepping and praying that my foot will land on something solid, and it always has. But now, I know where the next step is. True, I can only see one step, but one step is one more than I usually see. Anyways, enough with the metaphor. I'm gonna go have some coffee.