I Don't Have A Catchy Name For This

I've been thinking a lot lately. Well, not so much thinking as retrospecting. Remembering. It seems odd to me that my sister will soon no longer be Whitney Nicole Osborne. She will be Whitney Nicole Osborne Gustafson, or Whitney Osborne Gustafson, or Whitney Nicole Gustafson, or some other combination. Her entire life - my entire life - she has been Whitney Nicole Osborne. Not for much longer. To go along with this thought, I was at our old house a few weeks ago. I had to stop by and pick up a vacuum cleaner. I walked through the house slowly, noticing every nook and cranny, memories flooding over me faster than I could remember them. I remembered backyard wiffleball, hours upon hours upon hours of driveway basketball, my awesome hanging bed, so many memories. One thing that stuck in my mind more than almost anything else was remembering waking up and taking half a step out of my bedroom and knocking on my best friend's bedroom door. I can't do that anymore. That best friend now lives in Atlanta and will soon have a different name. All that being said..... I am thankful that Whitney Nicole Osborne will soon have a different name. I am thankful that she finally found a man that almost deserves her. I am thankful that all those memories are not my life anymore. That house is not my home, and while Whitney's door is no longer a foot from mine, I still live with the best family in the world. There is no doubt about that. I have learned throughout the years that family has absolutely nothing to do with blood. Whitney will soon have a different last name than me. That's ok though, all my other sisters already do. And I am thankful for that.

Just so you know.....

I feel like I've kept this a secret for too long. So I want everyone out there to know.....

I am dating Beyonce Knowles.

What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?

You've been asked this question before, right? Or at least heard it? I don't particularly care for this question. I suppose the point is you answer with some amazing idea and then whoever asks the question says "Well then go for it!!!!!!!" (Note the excess of exclamation marks. That is merely a textual representation of the highly motivated question asker). The situation is ok in theory, but near worthless in practice. You have probably also heard that anyone can do anything they put their mind to. That is a false statement. I hate to burst bubbles, but that's my take on all that. If a rooster wants nothing in life except to lay an egg, he won't lay an egg. He's not built for it. He may want it more than anything else, he may focus all his attention on laying an egg, but it ain't gonna happen. Now let's get back to the original question : What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? If I knew I couldn't fail I would go to the top of a huge building, jump off, and fly. All throughout my childhood my wishes (birthdays, shooting stars, etc.) were aimed towards me somehow having the ability to fly. So that's what I would do. But guess what - I most certainly can fail in that endeavor. And whatever moron tells me to "Go for it!!!!!!!" maybe needs to try it out before telling me to. More often than not, when given an answer like mine, the question asker will smile as if you have just told a funny joke and, gathering patience as if with a third grader, ask you to be more reasonable. That is the point I am trying to get to. You can fail. Let me get at that again - You. Can. Fail. People don't like to hear that. It's much more reassuring to hear that we will succeed in all that we do. But we probably won't. We will fall flat on our faces, get bloodied, bruised, beaten (alliteration) and laughed at. And life goes on. Confucius said (Is he quoting Confucius? Oh goodness, get that boy to a church quick!) that "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." And fall we will. But will we get back up? Will we continue to strive for the greatest or shrink and settle in fear of falling? Falling is not fun at all. It is hurtful, embarassing, and ugly. But will we decide that the bruises along the way will be worth it in the end? Make no mistake, you will fail at times in your life. The question is, what will you do knowing that you can fail?

WARNING!!! Spoilers Ahead!!!

For over a week now, I have had this thought in my head. It isn't always there, but it's come up a few times. I remember when this thought first entered my head, I couldn't stop thinking about it for probably 30 minutes straight. And here it is. I feel like Gentile (non-Jewish) Christians have read a summary of the movie and then watched it. What I mean is this - We are often told that we are sinners in the same breath as we are told that Jesus came to save us. For me, I don't even remember the first time I heard this. But I know I heard it early and I heard it often. I was so glad that Jesus came to save me I said "The Prayer" when I was maybe 5. Notice I don't say that I got saved then or became a Christian then. I just know that at the age of 5 I didn't want to burn forever and as far as I could tell, that prayer would save me from that happening. I was very wrong, but that's another topic for another day. But anyway, back to the topic at hand. Gentiles hear that Jesus saves before we even know what we're supposed to be saved from. Now think about the Jewish people. For thousands of years the Jewish people have been oppressed. They have had their land taken from them, fought to regain it, had it taken again, etc... All this time they have heard that a Messiah is coming to save them. They study the Old Testament front and back. They look for the clues of the coming Messiah all the time. They know the prophecies. A King is coming. The idea of a coming savior is ingrained in the Jewish faith and culture. The Jewish people are desperate. Now imagine a young Jewish person who begins to study the life of Jesus. He reads that Jesus was born of a virgin in Bethlehem, was teaching at synagogues as a young boy, was ridiculed and killed, rose again..... These are just a few of the hundreds of prophecies that Jesus fulfilled. As the reader begins to understand and believe what he is reading, a thought begins to form in the back of his mind - "This is HIM. This is the Messiah! The one we have been waiting for thousand of years actually came thousand of years ago! How did we miss him?" Can you imagine the joy? I remember the joy I felt when I truly decided that Jesus was worth my life. It was amazing. But can you imagine? This is your religion, your family, your culture. Everything hangs on this and you just discovered it! That is like watching the movie and living and dying with every plot twist. That analogy seems very weak to express the thought that's in my head, but it's the best I can come up with. Jewish people don't hear the answer before the question like Gentiles often do. It's hard for me to wrap my head around the thought of realizing you have found the One that your people have been waiting for. How could you not go out and tell everyone you know about Jesus? And the same question can be asked for Gentiles.

Have You Ever Read "The Cask Of Amontillado?"

You should. It's a good story. But that's not the point. The point is that too often in literature we've been taught to trust the narrator. Whoever is telling the story has to be trustworthy, right? I mean, why else would they let the story be told? Nobody wants to read a story just to find out the narrator has fooled them. The Cask of Amontillado teaches us otherwise. In this story we discover that narrators are allowed to be just as crazy as the rest of us. It really makes reading a lot more exciting when you know not to believe everything you read. Sometimes I feel like I'm narrating my life. I do talk to myself a lot, but that's not quite what I mean. I mean really narrating... "Caleb walked to class today and discovered a note on the door alerting him that class had been cancelled. He leapt for joy and promptly called his girlfriend Beyonce to tell her the good news. They were so excited they decided to take an impromptu trip to New Zealand.....". So, yeah. I hope at this point you realize that is not an accurate description of my everyday activities. In actuality, I only get to see Beyonce on the weekends. But anyway, the point is that as I narrate my life to myself and others, I will occasionally get a glimpse from the outside looking in. It can be pretty scary. I tell of my weekend plans and past plans and future plans and plans to make plans, and things along those lines. I tell my thoughts, feelings, actions, ideas. On those rare occasions that I somehow slip into third person mode, I never know if I trust the narrator. I keep listening and think, "I can just tell this guy is about to go all crazy on me." I don't know why, but it happens. Maybe it's because I know the narrator is making up his story as he goes along. He doesn't know what's on the next page any more than I do. And while that can at times make me uncertain, what's the fun of having a perfectly trustworthy narrator? My life isn't an encyclopedia.

El Primero Bloggo

I decided to start writing a blog. Side note, if I ever hear you call me a "blogger" you will earn yourself a lightning-quick chop to the windpipe. But I digress... I have had people encourage me to start a blog over the past few years and never have because I figured nobody would read it and it would be a huge waste of time. Three people in particular said that would not be the case and assured me they would read every post. These people are my mom, my sister Whitney, and Tyler Erwin. That being said, I expect all three of you to read this stinking blog seven times a day. I have no idea what I'm going to write about. The topics may be very random and often they won't make any sense at all. That's ok. The people at Blogspot tell me I can do what I want with this blog. And so I will. Now that you have the backstory on this blog, I'll get to the meat of this first post. When is the last time you sat down and thanked God? Not like "Thanks for the food, amen" but sat down for an extended period of time and thanked Him for everything He has done? Numerous times throughout the Bible there are people struggling and God basically says "Remember what I've done and you'll be alright." It sounds so simple, but we forget. Sit down sometime and just thank Him. Don't ask for a thing, just look back on your life and thank Him for what He's done. It puts things in perspective.

p.s. - This reminds me, sometimes I will write about spiritual things and what I believe, but this isn't meant to be a religious blog by any means. It's just that I think about these things and that sometimes shows in what I write. If you don't agree with my beliefs, that's perfectly ok. I hope you like what I write anyway.